I don't have anything comical to add (Although I'm partial to your #3) but right now nature is in full ass whooping mode with her sights and sounds. Patapsco Valley would be a great place to spend a day. I still love hiking up on the train tracks, going through the Ilchester tunnel and having lunch on the other side by the bridge. Kids will LOVE when a train thunders by.
Then there's the practical stuff......teaching kids how to do laundry, manage a bank account (online now of course), use basic tools. I suppose a good teacher could make a game out of any of these kinds of things.
Of course NONE of this solves the problem of being outside on church grounds...except maybe some learning about nature. Maybe a scavenger hunt would be fun?
I'd vote for a good old fashion dodgeball game. Nothing brings you close to Jesus like getting smashed in the face with a big rubber ball travelling 35mph.
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